You are out on a date, you are feeling like it’s going very well and that there is clear physical attraction between you- but you are not sure whether it is right to engage in any type of physical contact for fear it might be too soon. When is the right time to actually touch her?
Physical Contact On The First Date
Some people are against physical contact on a first date, but in reality, the act of touching someone so soon is not forbidden, as long as you are subtle about it. In fact, it may be advisable.
If you have maintained good verbal and non-verbal communication (body language), you should know when she is into you and when she has “friend-zoned” you. If the former is the case, there is nothing wrong with a little bit of casual touching. To be exact, this does not mean putting your arms around her shoulders, as this might make her feel trapped and totally awkward. Neither do we mean reaching for her hand over the table (or under it, for that matter), as this is well, quite cheesy nowadays.
We mean ever-so-lightly brushing over her hand as you reach for your glass of wine, your knee ‘accidentally’ touching hers, your hand casually touching her shoulders as you get up to go to the men’s room or as you hold her coat for her to wear. You get the idea. Two words for first date physical contact: “light” and “casual”. If there is enough attraction between you, these light contacts will amplify it times ten, preparing the ground for the next date.
Physical Contact On the Second Date
The second date is a whole new field. To begin with, you have now established that she likes you enough to want to see you again. You have also got rid of a lot of the first date awkwardness. Depending on the positive vibes and the flirting levels of the second date, you can go in for the all-important first kiss when the opportunity arises.
You could also hold her hand afterwards if you want, as this is an affectionate and sweet gesture that she will most probably like. The key is not to hurry things, though. Again, pushing things when she is not ready might scare her off and make you seem a little desperate. However, not going for that kiss also holds dangers, the most important of which is for her to think you are not attracted enough or that you are not brave enough to try it.
In A Nutshell
So, to sum up, drop your hints on the first date so as to set the tone of what’s to come. And on the second date, by all means, go for the kiss if you are feeling that she is into you, but don’t rush into more. There is always the third or fourth date for that.