Jealousy is such an insidious thing. It can turn the most rational, put-together guy into a real monster in a matter of seconds. It can take over your mind and make you believe in the most implausible scenarios, ruining a relationship that seemed unbreakable. If you’re a jealous guy, this advice is for you.

How Can A Jealous Guy Beat The Green-eyed Monster?

When jealousy takes over, it is not easy to contain yourself and you may end up driving yourself crazy and ruining your relationship. These are some simple things to do about it.

Find the root of your jealousy. The first thing to do is to understand what makes you feel the way you do. Jealousy is our fear of losing something, so it may stem from a number of reasons. Is it a previous relationship you had that betrayed you and left you feeling insecure? Is it the fact your current relationship doesn’t feel strong enough? Could you be feeling like you are not good enough for her?

Ask yourself if there’s a real reason to be jealous of her. What exactly are you jealous of? Sometimes our own partner wants to make us feel jealous in the belief she will keep us interested, or other times there is a real situation to be jealous of. Are the scenarios you are making a figment of your imagination, or has she truly given you reason to be suspicious? If she inadvertently draws attention when you go out just because she is pretty, you can’t really blame her. Just be proud to be her guy. But if you’ve seen her actually flirt with guys, then you are entitled to ask for an explanation.

Express your feelings without making accusations. As with most difficult situations in a relationship, you need to address the issue bothering you rather than bury it inside. Hard as it may be, you should try and leave your anger behind when you have a talk about it with her. Instead of starting your sentences with “You” and following with some sort of accusation, start with “I” and make it more about yourself. For example, you could say “I feel like you spend too much time with your friends and I’m a little left out”, instead of “Why are you neglecting me?”

Own your feelings and make suggestions to your partner. There is no use denying how you feel. Sooner or later she will figure out that you feel the way you do, so it’s better to just accept it yourself from the start. In fact, you should go one step further and figure out ways to assuage your worries together. Maybe a phone call when she’s out or meeting her friends yourself at some point could help things. Remember, however, not to be too overbearing, needy, and irrational in your demands, as this might put her off.

Work on yourself. If you realize that the thing causing your insecurities are coming from some inadequacy of yours that can be worked on, do it. Lose those extra pounds, go shopping for new, smarter clothes, make an active effort to improve the sides of yourself you’re not content with and be a better version of yourself. Venting your energy this way will not only make you feel more confident, it will also keep your negative thoughts away.

It’s not easy being a jealous guy. It can be a torture both for you and your partner, and disastrous for your relationship. These simple steps will help you recognize, accept and overcome the negative feeling, though.