Ask your friends who are in long-term relationships how they feel about them, and what their biggest problem is with regards to their partner. Surely, the most obvious things killing relationships are cheating, constant bickering, and deception. However, there is one thing killing relationships that’s much more common and perhaps even more dangerous because it is so sneaky: boredom. And it’s the one thing your friends are going to say they feel is the problem with their long-term relationships.
How Is Boredom Killing Relationships?
Have you noticed how much you enjoy your first meal in a new restaurant but feel a little let down when you visit it again? Does it feel like things, such as a ride in an amusement park, seem far more fun and exciting the first time you do them? That’s because your brain naturally releases feel-good chemicals when it’s excited by a new, stimulating experience (that dish, or that ride). When the experience is repeated, it does not function in the same way, though.
Signs Your Relationship Is Affected
If you fear that your relationship is in danger, look out for these signs:
- Finding excuses not to spend time with your partner.
- Not feeling interested in what your partner has to say.
- Feeling envious of the life of other couples.
- Looking forward to spending time alone.
- Not enjoying doing the things you used to love doing together.
- Not being able to remember the last time you genuinely have fun with your partner.
How To Stop Boredom From Killing Relationships (Or At Least Yours)
According to a 2009 study carried out by the University of Michigan, couples who expressed feelings of boredom after 7 years were more likely to be unhappy down the line, after 16 years in their relationship. What this means is that you need to take action immediately if you don’t want to end up miserable.
The first thing is to find a hobby you both enjoy and indulge in it together. Having fun in the presence of your partner will create positive associations in your brain, and the process of practicing it together will help you strengthen your bond.
Second, you should not neglect to be intimate with each other. Lack of intimacy causes the gradual erosion of a relationship, so don’t let that chance to kiss your partner go to waste. Show her you like being around her and tease her from time to time, reminding her that you are still very much excited by her presence.
The third thing you need to do is to be adventurous. Dare new things together, go on trips to places you’ve never seen, try out new cuisines, learn new things constantly – and keep those happy chemicals flowing.
Last, and most importantly, find a partner who stimulates you not just physically, but also mentally. Make sure you have common interests and desires and give her the chance to show you her world and to charm and excite you with her personality.
Don’t take your love or that of your partner for granted. There are so many things killing relationships today, don’t let boredom sneak into your relationship and steal your happiness.