It’s normal for a couple to argue, but what’s not normal is when a couple’s arguments are fluctuating and have reached a point where it has become extreme. That’s a giant red flag already. The strange thing is, most couples don’t really know that they’re in a stormy relationship until it’s too late, or until damage has already been done.
Are You In A Stormy Relationship? What Should You Do?
We’ve already mentioned that, commonly, the first sign is when the couple’s arguments seem to escalate and become more frequent. Here are a few more signs that tell you you’re in a stormy relationship:
Do you fight about the same things over and over again? What’s sad about stormy relationships is that fighting has become a norm. The couple has fought so much that they feel like it’s already become a regular factor in the relationship. It shouldn’t be, of course.
What to do: Talk after you argue so you can arrive at a resolution and have closure.
People in a stormy relationship are usually overly dependent on each other. This is most probably one of the main reasons for the constant friction in the relationship. One person, or even both, feel that the relationship is necessary for their happiness. Without the other, the overly dependent person feels depressed and abandoned.
What to do: Identify who the overly dependent person is. Once you do, you have to work through the dependency together. If it’s still not working, you might need the help of a professional.
Manipulation In The Relationship
Another sign that a relationship is stormy is when one person uses manipulation to get what he or she wants. Some manipulative behaviours include guilt tripping, showing contempt, and getting defensive.
What to do: It’s hard to spot manipulation in a relationship, and when you do, the person usually is unaware that he or she is doing it. This is when a professional needs to step in.
Your Emotions Dictate Your Relationship’s Health
When you’re happy, you feel like your relationship’s perfect, even when it is not really the case. Couples in stormy relationships often set their standards too low. A small glimpse of hope or peace make them happy, but they’re not really doing anything to address the cause of their problem. When a fight takes place, and it eventually will after a short period of peace, the process comes full circle.
What to do: Take a step back to see what the real status of your relationship is. Be objective and try to see your relationship from a third person’s perspective.
No one wants to be in a stormy relationship so if you identify all of these signs in your current one, it’s time to have a heart to heart talk with your partner. Whatever the both of you decide, you need to think about what’s best. You can either go your separate ways or speak to a professional to salvage what’s left of the relationship.