In your dating experience or past relationships, have you ever noticed that there are people who just respond negatively to love? It could be someone you’re interested in, but it did not work out because of his or her issues. Or, it may not even be someone you are romantically interested in. It might be a family member or friend.
Some Of Us Respond Negatively To Love Because Of Past Hurts
If you think about it, it’s quite ironic to say that people respond negatively to love which normally brings about feelings of happiness. When you’re in love, you can’t help but smile all the time. However, there are reasons why some of us can’t seem to accept the happiness we’re given:
1. Love brings about painful feelings from the past.
As mentioned, when we have been hurt in the past, these feelings could come up when we are with a new romantic partner. How we have been hurt could be repeating in our minds. This fear hinders us from receiving the love we are given.
2. Identity Crisis
When you’re with someone, it’s common for you to change who you are. There are people who don’t want to change. Whenever they feel in love, they entertain the thought of not knowing themselves while in a relationship. What they don’t realize is that you get to discover new things about yourself when you’re sharing your life with another person.
3. It threatens psychological defenses we have built.
Lastly, love may be threatening the defenses that we have already built. It’s like the first item on this list which permits fear to make decisions that are supposed to be made from the heart. We do not want to give up our defenses. It has been working for us ever since. As a result, we push love away instead of inviting it in.
Our past hurts keep us from receiving the love we deserve. However, we should remember that we have power over what we feel. If we allow the pain to control us, or even hinder us from opening up to someone we truly care about, then we will never find true love. For more relationship and dating tips, read other posts on the blog.