Even if you have never heard of the term before, you have most probably come across one or more emotional pirates in your life. Even worse, you may have entered a romantic relationship with an emotional pirate without realizing it. Learn how to recognize and ward them off to keep your soul treasures intact.
What’s An Emotional Pirate?
Some of them are easier to spot than others, like their ship and black flag are huge and prominent, while others are less obvious, sneakier and probably even more dangerous. But both are after one thing: your energy.
An emotional pirate is not just someone who likes to brag a little or who’s a little self-centered. She is the kind of person you tell about your traumatic childhood only to hear she’s had it way worse. She’s the girlfriend you meet after a tough day in the office and changes the subject when you begin to tell her about your troubles into the hell she’s been through looking for something to wear. You will know almost everything about her, but she won’t know almost anything about you. And she won’t really care.
Emotional pirates have a way of sneaking into our psyche and making us feel their life is somehow more important than ours. They demand out attention, their own self-absorption may feel so strong that you are soon deprived of your right to feel important too. That’s when you know your soul has been robbed.
How Do You Deal With An Emotional Pirate Girlfriend?
Well, the first step is to recognize her. Once you have let her jump into your own emotional ship, let her know how things stand. There are some things she can touch, and others that she can’t take. Place your limits by showing you value yourself, you demand her attention as much as you are willing to offer yours, and you are not willing to constantly put her needs above yours. For example, next time she interrupts your story for hers, interrupt her again and stand your ground “Yes, but now we are talking about me”.
Then, take the wheel of your ship. When she starts being all dramatic, instead of urging her to tell you more about her pains, say something like “what can you do? That’s life” and minimize the importance of anything she says to draw attention. Once she sees that the lock of the trove is so hard to crack open, she’ll give up trying.
If all else fails, sail away. If the situation is irreparable and she is an emotional Jack Sparrow, maybe it’s best to cut loose from her. Keeping an emotional pirate on board only sets you up for hurt and manipulation – and your emotional treasure is too precious to leave out there for looting.