Not all relationships are perfect. Take your past ones as examples. With some of them, we cannot deny the fact that we experienced relationship trauma that we haven’t fully healed from yet. Most people call this baggage because we take the trauma with us to our new relationships.

Relationship Trauma Signs That You Should Never Ignore

Most of the time, the relationship trauma we experienced hinders us from reaching our full potential as a person. By extension, it also hinders our romantic relationship from moving forward. This is why we should be aware of the actions we make that could indicate that we’re carrying heavy baggage:

1. Commitment Phobia

Those of us who have undergone severe trauma in past relationships are afraid to take their current one to a more serious level. The thought in their mind could be that the situation in the past that has caused so much pain could repeat itself with the current relationship.

Fix: It’s time that you come to terms with the pain that you experienced before. To do this, you need to go to a therapist who will help you process your feelings.

2. Relief Followed By Guilt

As soon as you exited your former toxic relationship, you’ll have that “I’m finally free” feeling. But, as soon as the newness of the break up sets in, the feeling of guilt will creep up. You’ll find yourself asking whether the break up was your fault or not.

Fix: It’s best to confide in a close friend. This friend has to be someone who has seen how your relationship started, all the way to how it ended. A third perspective can make you see things clearly and will help validate your innocence or otherwise.

3. Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are those that disrupt your entire day, schedule, or train of thought. They are destructive because they could be major sources of stress. For example, in the middle of the day, you could suddenly think about whether the current relationship you’re in is the right one. You doubt yourself and your choices because you’ve made mistakes in the past. You obsess about this thought by analyzing every little detail about your current partner.

Fix: The best way to prevent intrusive thoughts from disrupting everything is by keeping your mind busy. Take up a hobby that focuses on self-improvement. Exercising is a good example of this.

It is never healthy to spot any of these signs in your relationship or self. However, you must remember that you can always do something about it. Read other posts on our blog for other tips on improving relationships.