Raise your hand if you have never been caught up in the excitement of a new relationship where you want to spend every minute of every waking hour being with your loved one; talking on the phone, chatting online, sending text messages, sending Facebook messages, liking their Instagram pics and generally being a human leech. What happens, though, when you get over this phase of being too clingy, but your partner is still there?
The Steps To Dealing With A Partner That’s Too Clingy
Might be flattering at first, but it can get tiring after a while. So here’s what to do when it all gets too much.
- Slowly show her why you need some me-time. Don’t jump into a conversation immediately. Instead, start dropping some hints of the things you have to do with your time alone. Having a busy schedule with work, connecting with friends you have been neglecting lately, and also just the fact you like your peace so as to process things, are all reasons to place some boundaries – but do it subtly.
- Make the actual conversation. Try to be direct but not offensive. If your girl hasn’t caught the hints about how valuable your time with yourself is, try to explain as simply and calmly as possible. You could mention how she too can benefit from this small amount of alone time but don’t sound too controlling, condescending or rehearsed.
- Don’t try too hard to distance yourself or she might think you are simply avoiding her. When you are trying to show her you need some me-time, you shouldn’t overdo it. Not texting or calling all day is not the way to go if you do want the relationship to continue. Don’t play hot and cold. Maintain the pattern of communication that reflects what you really have in mind as an ideal scenario.
- Make sure you show her you still care and you haven’t lost the desire to be with her. If she needs to talk about it again, don’t avoid it. But if you feel the conversation is going round in circles, just be firm about it and gently explain that it is much better to have some balance than to suffocate each other.
Don’t Doubt Yourself
Don’t get into a guilt trip for needing some independence and disliking being too clingy. Even if she questions your feelings, don’t question yourself when you know how you really feel about her. It is very important that you set the right foundations for a relationship from the start, and she will only end up thanking you for it in the long run.
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